A friend is going through a painful divorce -not sure if there is such thing as a pleasant one. I thought of few tips to comfort him coming from a person who knows a thing or two about the subject.
– You are not bad. Neither is she. It is not about good or bad. If that was the case and with the divorce rate the way it is -I don't have the statistics but it’s high– there would be a lot of bad people out there.
– Don’t blame yourself. Yes you made mistakes, and so did she. We all make mistakes. Assuming those mistakes are not major ones -such as throwing your mother in law out of the window or something– a mature relationship can work through them.
– Don’t get into the what if game. I am sure you wonder what if you have done things differently. You would probably end up with the same result so don’t go there! When you are in the ‘wrong’ relationship, anything you do would come out ‘wrong’.
– Meet God. In times of difficulty we tend to get closer to God. I always do in a plane -literally I guess! There is nothing wrong with becoming more religious in such times. But try to keep a balance and aim for a lasting transformation not just a temporary one followed by a sharp reversal -like hitting the bar the minute the plane lands!
– Learn to forgive. Hope to be forgiven. There is no point in carrying all that weight on your chest. Life is short. We don’t always get second or third chances. Take your time but ultimately put this behind you and move forward. After every ending, there is a new beginning..